


Nothing Ahead, Nothing Behind

by starryeyedsea



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-02
Updated: 2012-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 17:18:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedsea/pseuds/starryeyedsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorothy isn't ready to let go of the past, even as the future looks to be getting the best of her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Ahead, Nothing Behind

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Gundam Wing Fic Exchange](http://gwficexchange.livejournal.com)

The sky is suitably gray for Duke Dermail’s funeral and luckily it had yet to rain on the gatherers at the cemetery. Not that it mattered to Dorothy if it did. She was quite tired of the meaningless gestures and empty sympathy that she had been offered since it began, and was quite frankly tired of funerals in general. The finality of it all was beginning to wear on her.

Dorothy felt like with each wake and each casket another part of her was being buried along with it. She felt like the universe or God or whatever was telling her to let go of the traditions and bury the past.

Well maybe she didn’t want to let it go. It wasn’t so easy to change the way she had lived just because the world had changed. Quite frankly Dorothy was feeling a bit underwhelmed by this new era and what it had brought, and if recent news reports were to be believed than they may have gotten even worse.

But this particular funeral was the hardest. It was much smaller than Treize’s and really only former surviving members of Romefeller and former personal employees were present. It was already pretty clear that history would not be kind to Duke Dermail. Dorothy didn’t grieve for this as it was too be expected. However, she wouldn’t lie to herself and say that she didn’t feel a bit bitter about it. The world would never know him the way she did. But even more that, the weight of his legacy just as her father’s did would be left on her shoulders.

But Dorothy wasn’t going to allow those feelings out here. She would play the part of the dutiful and mourning granddaughter perfectly as she had been trained to do since she was born. She held back the snide comments that kept creeping up in her mind and gave the custom platitudes that was required of her.

Most of the mourners were fake in their sympathy. This was just as much an obligation for them as it was for her. Dorothy fully expected for herself to be the only one who mourned her grandfather’s passing. Quite frankly she didn’t quite understand why anyone else would.

There was at least one person whose sympathy wasn’t fake, and Dorothy positively hated her for it. OF course Relena would be completely sincere in telling her that she was sorry, and it was a loss.

Relena was annoyingly honest that way.

Dorothy didn’t even know why she was here. It wasn’t to gloat, Dorothy knew Relena enough to know that she wasn’t capable of that, and she couldn’t be there for her grandfather’s, and what motivated Relena to come Dorothy could not fathom. So when they finally had a moment together Dorothy took the opportunity to ask her.

“I can’t see why you would want to be here, Miss Relena,” she said, not quite able to hide the sarcasm when addressing her, “you and my grandfather didn’t exactly get along.”

Relena just shrugs.

“It wouldn’t have felt right,” Relena said, “besides, I figured you could use the company. I heard about what happened on Libra.”

Dorothy remained silent. If there was one memory that Dorothy wanted to forget it was that one, that still hurt. She had thought she had won that battle but in the end she could see that she lost. All she knew was that if she were to ever meet Quatre Raberba Winner again she would very much like to run another sword through him. On much different terms.

Relena must have noticed her clench her fists because she could hear her a small cough that sounded like she was trying to refrain from giggling. Dorothy just let it be and they stood in silence for a moment.

“Don’t dwell on the past too much Dorothy,” Relena said, breaking the silence, “there is still plenty of work to be done. No one will remember that anyways.”

 _I will,_ Dorothy thought, and to be frank right now it was her memories that mattered most.

Relena left with a silent adieu and soon everyone else was gone as well. Dorothy was now alone with only her thoughts and her grandfather’s grave.

And to be honest the only thing that Dorothy could think of was that she felt like a ghost. She belonged to the past, what future was there left to have?

 _Nothing ahead. Everything behind._

* * *

The Catalonia house is empty and smells of the past. It is cold and suddenly with her being the only one there it feels so blatantly impersonal and unfeeling. It had never been a home. Not really. All the decor and the pictures were for show, a display of her family’s wealth and status. Dorothy hadn’t so much been loved here as spoiled here.

She wasn’t complaining. She had no regrets really about how she grew up. She had her pride after all, but the fact of the matter was there was no solace here. There were no answers to be found and so Dorothy tired to spend most of her time away from it. She attended a school, but it was too loud and improper and crass. She vacationed for a while on some tropical island but that hadn’t suited either. So Dorothy always ended up back at the house. Always back in the past.

And maybe it was Relena’s words from the funeral, maybe it was having seen Quatre’s face on the television screen one too many times, but Dorothy finally began to feel restless and even a bit angry. She wanted to do things again. Everyone was getting everything wrong. This wasn’t how peace was supposed to work. It wasn’t supposed to be this easy, and people weren’t supposed to just say good bye and forget. Wasn’t that how history kept repeating itself? People refusing to learn and thus making the same mistakes.

People were fools, but Dorothy Catalonia was not. She had made mistakes, she had followed a tradition that was now considered pretentious and oppressive and it was true that that tradition belong in the past. But Dorothy Catalonia still had a place here. Relena had been right. There was a lot of work to do.

And so just after she gets the initial rumblings of trouble on the horizon, Dorothy begins to make plans.

Her father and grandfather had left her legacy, one that Dorothy had fought hard to protect. Their ideals had been her life, but that was life was over. It was finally time for Dorothy Catalonia to make a legacy for herself.

There was nothing behind, but now for her she realized, there was everything ahead.


End file.
